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♥Elizabeth ;DD
Fiveteen YCK SYMPHONIC BAND!. presents on 7FEB :D |
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♥ music, dance, chocolates, my Horn, friends, photography & guitar. I'm a music lover. I love singing n playing the french horn! I have an absolutely sweet tooth and I like chocolates and candy floss although they make me look kiddish most of the time. I jus wanna be happy, loved thats all. |
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Saturday, October 31, 2009 @ 10:49 AM
sometimes i wonders y i could hv so much more patience in my grandma, yet i cant hv as much patience in my mum, but actually i realised tat, i am actually nt the only 1 tat does not hv patience with my mum. ._. all of a sudden, i fel lyk typing lots of words. i am weird, and yes i noe i am LOL. haha, bored., freaking out and everything. times are really really hard nowaday. stressing and everything. especially family things tat are happening, yet i cant display the sadness i hv inside of me at home, so many those sadness changed into anger at home. getting fustrated very easily at home, especially with my mum. tis is lyk totally different from the me with my friends when i dun really get fustrated tat easily actually. but i seriously duno wads happening to me actually. i am worried, cos anytime there might jus be this something tat i nv wan it to happen at all. now i fel lyk breaking down, maybe jus awhile will do, then i'll jus pull myself up again with this strong face, that i always bring up at home, no matter how sad can i be i'll still be the same so at least no one needs to wry abt me at home. yet, i can be afraid tat tis balloon might jus burst anytime. i am so afraid. yet i dun wanna say out. nono. i dun wan to. me, is nt me at home. who noes deep inside there is jus this weak person, trying to come out, trying to let people noe she cares abt this family, she wanna be strong so tat no 1 can actually harm this family anymore. no one need to be worried abt tis girl cos she can do well. yet sometimes this turns bad when her family sees her as, some1 who doesnt care, still too young to think abt tis family, some1 who is jus lazy, duno wad the heck she's doing. and making tis family worried. tis is not wad i wan. i put up this strong face because i need to, deep inside me, i wan no one to be hurt, especially my love ones, tat i dont show as much care to. i need to support this family, protect my family as i am the only child, the only hope tats on me, maybe tis is nt wad my family actually protrays on me, maybe tis is nt wad my family expected of me, this stupid person. yet, in me, there is jus tis someone tat jus wanted to protect and give this family at least a save and happy ending. even if she has to stress herself on this alot. there is no harm. she'll jus try her best. very best till she die. another tat she wans to do, is to help her friends. i believe tat every one has a true self deep under them. but due to things tat happened arnd them, regardless of actually anything, they build up walls in them, people do change but this is how they grow, friends can only be here to remind them of who they are, who they used to be, wad they were actually going for, their aim and goals and everything. friends do not chose friends. friends are people tat u feel comfortable with, not forcing urself to adapt to some1. we have to help each other, bare with some minor attitude problems cos no1 is perfect, yet nt adapting to each other. not trying to change for anyone else, unless its a major problem. i believe everyone has a good side, its jus how they potrays it. try taking a picture, letting urself go. a picture tat show the emotions deep inside ur heart, wad u feels and nothing else. when u truely get it, u will understand reality and life and being urself truely means. |